OK, so if you have read our column for at least the last few years, you might remember one I wrote in 2010. My 92 year old father had just died in Kansas City. Together my husband, daughter and I handled everything in my parents’ home. We kept the nicest and most sentimental pieces for Mom or ourselves, and gave away or sold everything else. Then we moved Mom to assisted living. That column was mostly about how we chose what to take, and some of the things that we did to make her new “apartment” feel like a pretty mini John and Mary’s house. Unfortunately of course, it was just Mary now. So amazingly, at 94, my mother’s saga goes on. And by the way, her three aunts lived to be 98, 100 and 102, so I could be writing another update about her in a few years.

Last February Mom fell in her room and broke both her arms. Since she is about as sturdy as a piece of parchment paper anyway, obviously this was not a good thing. They took her to the hospital, and I flew to Kansas City to be with her. Such a good daughter. When I walked into her room, she pathetically looked at me and said “I don’t think I’m going to make it. I want to die and be with your Dad”. Watching her through my tears, I understood. She was totally helpless, with no use of her hands, so of course she couldn’t even use her walker. After a week or so, we moved her to the care center. Of course, I was horrified at how awful that room was: a crumby little curtain hanging lopsided off a broken rod, ugly color painted walls, a tiny yucky bedside table. Ugh! I was more upset than she was. And this is no cheap place! Eventually, in her quest to die, she asked to be moved to Hospice. It looked to me like her body was not supporting her wish. That room was much prettier though. Mind you, not pretty, but prettier. In the meantime, she asked us to empty her apartment, as she wasn’t planning on getting well enough to go back. We did. Then her arms started to heal, she could use her walker again, she was sitting in her chair reading and putzing around the room, and getting more cheerful every day. She could even dress herself again, the requirement to go back to assisted living. And her pretty smile was back.

Now don’t get me wrong, we were all amazed and happy. There is no way to describe the emotional roller coaster our family had been on. I wasn’t losing my Mom yet after all! But at $8,000 a month there, and her not wanting to go to the dining room because it was “too depressing” (and it was), she was ready to leave. The nurses said it was about the only time anyone had left there on a walker.

And here is where this column FINALLY begins. How were we going to furnish another apartment, when everything we hadn’t kept, or given to her favorite nurses, we donated to their thrift store? My son had kept her sofa and dining table, my son in law had her TV, little frig and microwave for his office, and my daughter had kept her bed that did a million tricks and the prettiest chotchkes. So I flew back again (still such a good daughter) with a suitcase loaded with her jewelry, sweaters, and things I had kept. My “kids” brought all their stuff back to the new apartment, and we even hit the thrift store to see if there was anything of hers left. There were four mugs that I had never liked, and a plastic Kleenex box with butterflies on it for $1.50. We found kind of a fun arm floor lamp, and a black wire fifties record player stand (I guess). Only $26 for the two pieces! And they threw in the Kleenex box. Assisted living kindly found a comfortable chair and dresser for her. So there it was. Nothing that went with anything else. No more custom draperies, beautiful lamps, chandeliers, or pretty stuff. But it was functional for her. Guess I was finally realizing that the pretty pretty thing was my issue. The functional and comfortable one was hers. So my design tip today is this: sometimes you have to let go of everything being pretty and co-ordinated and colorful and fun. Or at least I do. And I still get to call my Mom every day.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of our readers!

Jean

Dear Jean and Richard:Is there a way to re-design a room and keep most of your current furniture? I’m not sure how to update or freshen a room without starting over.—Janet, Hendersonville

Jean: Hi Janet. Of course, a lot depends on what your current interior looks like. We find that many people are just tired of their surroundings but not quite ready or able to replace everything, so your question is a common one. But the answer doesn’t have to be common.

Richard: I suggest you start with one thing you really, really don’t want to part with. Maybe it’s a family heirloom or favorite painting. From there, you can consider—piece by piece—the other items in the room and determine whether they complement that piece or detract from it. For those things that don’t seem to work, first consider what other places in your home they might fit, but if they remain awkward, maybe it’s time to find a new home for them, like Habitat.

Jean: Wow, Richard. That was diplomatic. “Find a new home” sounds better than “garage sale.” Personally, I would take those pieces to the Blue Ridge Humane Society thrift store in Hendersonville. But you make a good point. By really asking yourself if a piece “works” with the item or items you want to keep, you’re on the way to making some big decisions. Once you mentally pare down the furnishings, you’ll know what you need to replace. Then I would go back to the favorite piece and work from there.

Richard: And follow a simple trick that some retail stores do with merchandise that isn’t moving: shuffle your furnishings around and you’ll see them in a whole new light…literally! Also paint can make a huge difference. If you are working around a painting or print, you might want to choose a color that is in the image, but not the predominant one. If you’re working from a piece of furniture that is painted or has a pronounced finish, find a color that coordinates with it AND with the room next door.

Jean: Yes, but I would wait on the paint color until you’ve found the new items. There are so many ways to approach this, but it’s usually a mistake to try to match new purchases to your existing finishes or surface treatments. Some of the finest homes (or at least our favorites) have an eclectic mixture of textures and color, and if you’re trying to salvage some of your current furnishings, a deliberate mix is probably your best approach.

Richard: I would not challenge that—Jean’s the expert on “mixed up.” But I would offer that when designing a room décor, there needs to be some consistencies and some contrasts. For example, if your focal point is an elaborate Victorian china hutch, you wouldn’t want to display NASCAR collectables in it, but maybe some cleaner, more contemporary items.

Jean: Gee Richard, what do you have against NASCAR collectables? I agree, but sometimes you can effectively mix in an unexpected accessory or add a whimsical object to lighten up a conservative setting. The right mix can offer elegance and fun at the same time.

Richard: Sounds like a plan.

These are the opinions of nationally recognized Greeson & Fast Design, whose studio is in Asheville’s historic River District at 352 Depot Street. Submit your questions to www.GreesonAndFast.com, or call for more information at 828-252-0400.

We just returned from the “2012 Antiques and Garden Show of Nashville”, apparently the largest in the South. Even though we’re interior designers, we get asked a lot of garden furnishing, decorative element and container questions. It also helps that we share offices with a landscape architecture firm, Sitework Studios.

The show has everything from landscape garden displays to amazing antique statuary, urns, fountains, topiaries, trellises, and outside tables and seating. Pieces ranged from eighteenth century to mid twentieth. They were priced from hundreds of dollars to tens of thousands. There were local dealers and ones who had traveled from as far as Michigan, Maine and the United Kingdom. We were happy to start the Thursday evening preview party being greeted at the door with an icy glass of sunshine from the local favorite son, Jack Daniels. There we found garden containers in interesting combinations of copper, zinc, steel, galvanized metals and rusty wrought iron. Other pieces were made of terra cotta, marble, hand carved stone, limestone and concrete. Some pieces were chipped, dinged, rusted and cracked, with all levels of lichen, moss and algae. Other pieces were in amazingly beautiful condition, with only a slight patina considering their age and travels. They were priced accordingly. Most architectural pieces came from nineteenth century buildings in large American cities or Europe, predominantly France or England. Amazing iron gates, railings and doorways were from Argentina. In outside design, we consistently appreciate architectural fragments selectively placed throughout a garden or yard. And consider the fun and interest of doing that also inside your home. One thing to keep in mind when discovering these treasures is to be aware of their size. The scale of a piece will seem very different in a shop or display than it will in a much larger space. Small pieces can be tucked into little corners or recesses outside, but expansive areas call for bigger finds. And when shopping, be aware of actual antique pieces versus reproductions. A lot of shops today mix them both in. Some reproductions are pretty and well done. Their finishes can often be their most challenging aspect. Just don’t be fooled into paying real antique prices for them.

Hopefully Spring is coming, so happy shopping and happy gardening.
Jean and Richard

Jean: Happy early Valentine’s Day, Richard.

Richard: Happy early Valentine’s Day, Jean.

Jean: What if we discuss something about your favorite holiday? Maybe dark chocolates?

Richard: Jean, you might be the daughter of a life long Hallmark executive, but I still think Valentine’s Day is corny. I am known to be bitter sometimes, but honoring loved ones should not be just once a year.

Jean: Awe, that is so sweet! And speaking of bitter and sweet, is that where dark chocolate comes from? Alright, but if you did like something about it, what would that be? Maybe Valentine colors? All the reds, pinks, maybe even a little orange…

Richard: Orange? OK. I’ll play for now. I do like the fiery pallet of the red family. And I’m liking the poppy colors.

Jean: Even though we saw a lot of pumpkin orange- often mixed with lime green or tomato reds- at the last design market, I think that needs to be used sparingly to not become tiresome. Warm or hot colors can certainly create high energy, moving towards aggression. Think of the waving red matador’s cape. They can also be fun in a room that you don’t use as often, but want active conversation in….like a formal dining room.

Richard: I would even consider blush pinks or vibrant fuchsia in my own place as long as I could tone it down with a charcoal color, black accents and some steel furniture. And then I am not sure whether I would hide on Easter or have a bonnet party.

Jean: Well you don’t have to invite me. I love blush pinks and hot pinks contrasting with black. Blush pink is maybe the most relaxing warm color, and one of the most flattering colors for many people to be surrounded by. That’s why it’s often a great bedroom color choice. And to crank it up a notch, hot pink is one of my favorite vibrant colors. In my past life, I went to a psychologist whose office was painted hot pink. Guess she figured, let’s just rev it up and get it going! Worked for me.

Richard: Don’t go there, Jean. I think you should get it going back to her office and get your money back. And if you celebrate Valentine’s Day, a wonderful heartfelt letter is worth more than any flowers or candy. So don’t be shy in words or color.

Dear Jean and Richard, I enjoy reading your column because it is one of the few things in the paper that is not all doom and gloom. Are you ever concerned that your design advice has little merit with all the country's economic troubles? --sign me "Worried"

Jean: Hi Reid. (Worried seems so formal.) I understand your point, but I think you may be missing a larger one. The thing is, you don't have to eat and sleep bad news to be aware of a struggling economy. There are, after all, a few constants in life, and your home is usually one of them. That home, however humble, is still your castle and your domain. It may even be one of the few places you have a sense of control, and where small investments can yield big psychological returns.

Richard: I agree that the country is going through a lot of adjustments right now, but in our business we're used to adjusting lifestyles. Someone may be redecorating their home instead of moving, or converting a downstairs instead of building a house. Regardless of the investment level, there are still design decisions to be made with any interior project. Life goes on.

Jean: After holiday festivities, the cold short days of January can be depressing, all the cheerful Christmas lights are gone, and the national news always seems especially bleak. For a lot of people, the temptation to worry increases. One of my strengths is organization, and I've come up with the perfect solution for all my hand-wringing friends: the Worry Calendar.

Richard: I’m already worried that you’ll give me one for my birthday.

Jean: Here’s what you do. Let’s say you just heard about the latest bail-out, and you’re concerned about whether the government should be spending your tax dollars on this or that industry, but you’re just too busy to worry about it right now. On the Worry Calendar you can schedule a time to think more about that—say June 15, 2010. By then, the problem may be resolved without your worry and in the meantime you avoided all kinds of negative thinking! See how easy that is?

Richard: I have you down on my calendar to worry about—let me check—yep, today and every day.

Jean: OK, so the Worry Calendar is not working for you. But I’m telling you, rather than being depressed about the economy, or politics, or whatever new worry the news is creating, it’s better to invest yourself in something productive. For that reason alone, focusing on your lifestyle and home environment has a lot of merit.

Richard: In my opinion, taking pride in your home and making the most of it is always important, and not just a diversion. The positive effects of good design, decluttering and organizing closets and cabinets can easily enhance your whole outlook and attitude, the same way good food and fellowship affects your mood. In addition to a more inviting interior, a refurbished room can provide a sense of accomplishment and entice you to spend more time at home than out spending money.

Jean: The next time you catch yourself worrying about things you can’t do anything about, start listing those things in the house you can actually improve or begin changing. The process of creating a fresh environment can be inspiring and even elevate your optimism.

Richard: And remember, baby steps. One project at a time and progress, not perfection.