Dear Jean and Richard, How do you blend masculine and feminine tastes in a single room? Steve and Beckie, Mills River.

Jean: It’s not always easy. But what we’ve discovered over time is that the two are not mutually exclusive. In fact, it’s surprising how often masculine or feminine tastes harmonize in a common environment.

Richard: Like the joint his or her bathroom at the W Hotel bar?

Jean: Well, that’s not what I mean. The fact is, sometimes what you may think of as a feminine look can be appealing to men, and vice versa. Take a leopard print, for example. While she might choose it for a coat, he would not. But he may love it on a chair cushion or pillow… and while she may consider black paint the choice for a sports bar, it may be the perfect trim color in a dramatic entrance foyer or dining room.

Richard: So she will let us put a urinal in their master bath?

Jean: Uh, you’ll have to ask. So anyway, imagine a den with rich green velvets and, say, a bomber jacket leather wing chair. Now pop the cool hues with a beautiful painting of pink azaleas from the Augusta National golf course—voila! You have a very masculine club room.

Richard: Along with the absurdly oversized flat screen. OK, I get your point. But I think we should go on record as saying we understand there are occasions where a compromise is needed. The harmony we create should be not only in the room, but in the marriage.

Jean: Yes, counselor—there are trade offs. But most often we succeed in surprising both partners with choices they would not have considered. Another example—say he likes brown tones and she likes bright colors. One solution is to put wood furniture against silver walls and use bright artwork or accessories as accents. The result is a rich, earthy environment with bold highlights. And ladies, if he objects to the green brocade pillow on his leather chair, you can soften the room with a tassel on the door knob, a patterned lamp shade, or a pretty entrance rug. I think furniture with curves versus angles, like a round or oval side table versus a square or rectangular one, can also show a more feminine or masculine side.

Richard: Be careful with that silver metallic paint—it’s difficult to apply. But I know you’re not advising people to paint their walls metallic colors. You’re just saying there can be creative solutions to masculine/feminine tastes. I agree, but it’s difficult to offer general advice about this. The important thing to remember is that definitions and biases are learned—a century ago pink was the color for baby boys and blue was the color for baby girls. Fortunately I don’t remember what my crazy Mom put on my walls.